


defricatus urina in ore placet

by squark (argentflowers)



Category: Witch's Heart (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, How Do I Tag, Knifeplay, M/M, Smut, ashe has terrible aim, ashe tops, crack smut, i was sober when i wrote this and i do not regret it, it's because i'm not of drinking age ;3, sirius dies but like in a different way, sirius is a bottom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 15:01:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/argentflowers/pseuds/squark
Summary: Upon finding him intruding into his bedroom, Sirius confronts Ashe.





	defricatus urina in ore placet

Ashe was up to his normal shenaniganery messing around in Sirius' room late at night because he couldn't take no for a goddamn answer. Sirius, as expected in every timeline, woke with a start.   
  
"What are you doing in here?! Leave at once!" shouted Sirius, angrily storming up to Ashe, who whined in protest.  
  
"The door was unlocked, so I just decided to satisfy my curiosity and peek around, you know?" Ash shot Sirius a cheeky wink, which was met with a look of displeasure. "I figured I could maybe sneak a look into the back room-"  
  
"Leave."  
  
Sirius already began to shove Ashe towards the door. "The door was not unlocked, and I have no time for you to remind me again of how foolish you are. Have I not made it clear to enter only when it's necessary, or is Claire's stupidity capable of spreading like some airborne disease?"  
  
"It was necessary!" Ashe said. "What's the matter with you? It's just a bunch of books on demons and the like. No harm comes to anyone as a result of that, right?"  
  
Sirius froze, and any words that he might have been able to bite back with instantly died in his throat.  
  
_No..._  
  
His stomach lurched, and he could already see the faint image of Lady Dorothy's face waft before him.  
  
_Stop. Don't mention that. I don't want to remember what happened there..._  
  
Swallowing, Sirius steeled the little of what remained of his fragile resolve and forcefully grabbed Ashe by the hand. "Just do what I say for once and get out," Sirius spat, yanking him towards the door.  
  
"No need to be violent! Jeez." Ashe wrenched his hand away with a pout. "Besides, I've fulfilled my curiosity anyway. I'm done here."  
  
As Ashe pulled away, Sirius could make out the outline of something beneath that weird-looking jacket he always wore. He was clutching at it the whole time, as if to not let it fall...  
  
"Wait." Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Did you take something?"  
  
"What? No."  
  
"I'd prefer it if you stopped lying so boldly. Wouldn't you agree it's quite rude to take people's belongings without their permission?" Sirius, with a scowl, gestured for Ashe to return the stolen object. "Give it here."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Maybe it's because I _asked you to, _you imbecile!"  
  
As soon as Sirius leapt at Ashe, his fate was sealed. Ashe, in a panic, shoved Sirius off him, prompting the diary that he was so tenderly clutching beneath his clothes to fall onto the floor. Sirius stumbled and fell, giving Ashe the perfect opportunity to throw a knife at him.   
  
"ARGH!"  
  
Sirius at once collapsed onto his knees, sucking in a breath.  
  
"DID YOU REALLY INTEND TO HIT ME _HERE_, OF ALL PLACES?!" Sirius cried out as a sharp pain coursed up his back.  
  
Ashe stared at the knife firmly embedded in Sirius' anus. It was a marvelous sight; the blade had easily cleaved his soft bourgeois ass in two, like it was a slice of bread. "N...no, actually. I was aiming for your head, but I seemed to have missed."  
  
"You have shitty aim, then," snarled Sirius. "If this is the way you approach the situation, then I fear for Claire and the others...but maybe they'll be fine, given your _incompetence._"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
Ashe, after coming closer, suddenly kicked the knife _deeper _into the wound.  
  
"Ashe, what the _hell?!_" shouted Sirius. "You fucking pasteurized my asshole!"  
  
"Considering that you always had a stick up your ass, I figured this would be nothing," Ashe said, whipping out another knife. "Oh, well. You've found me out. It's time for you to die, I guess."  
  
"Fuck...you..." Sirius grunted as Ashe slowly embedded the knife deeper, deeper, _deeper _into his quaking hole. He involuntarily let out a slight moan as the tip of the blade brushed by his prostate. "Ah..."  
  
"Oh, you like that?" Sirius could _sense _the smirk in Ashe's voice, and he could feel his deeply ingrained hatred towards anyone who wasn't Lady Dorothy further entrench itself into his mind as Ashe shoved the knife deeper into his ass. "You like that, you whore?"  
  
"How the hell did the situation come to _this?_" Sirius panted, looking up at Ashe with even more disdain than usual.  
  
"I dunno, but I'm enjoying it!" Ashe lowered himself so he could straddle Sirius' back, leaning in so the lord of the mansion could feel his sultry rat voice dance along the skin of his neck. "I'm gonna turn you into a popsicle, you bitch."  
  
At that, Sirius felt his pants grow uncomfortably tight.  
  
"Please do," he found himself moaning before he could think. 

A ravenous smile slithered across Ashe's cheeks as he jammed the knife further up his poop chute, impaling his prostate. Sirius cried out brokenly. Ashe saw this as encouragement and further indulged the man by twisting the knife around until the gland erupted.

"Ashe...oh, Ashe, _FUCK!_"

At that moment, a white-hot blaze of pleasure coursed up Sirius' spine as a tsunami of cum erupted from the tip of his weeping cock. It was then that Ashe yanked out the knife, and like a freshly-cut lava cake, a sea of blood flooded from his ass like water from an unobstructed dam. Sirius heaved one last breath and let out a pathetic moan before the last of his life drained away.

Ashe observed the corpse, feeling a certain stirring in his loins; Sirius was sprawled out so elegantly, his nightgown riding up past his waist to expose his silky vanilla thighs, now marred by splatters of blood. The lord of the castle died as he lived - whining like a little bitch.

"Oh no, don't die, your so sexy haha," Ashe whispered, feeling a single tear roll down his face. In search of the treasure that he thought he sought the most, he'd lost what he truly needed this whole time.


End file.
